A Chicago Blackhawks Fan Favorite – “The Hawkstitute” – #Blackhawks

26 Feb

“The Hawkstitute” 

Chicago Blackhawks fans come in all ages, shapes and sizes, but one particular specimen of “Blackhawk Fan” is the easily spotted, glorious, “Hawkstitute”.

If you have ever attended a Chicago Blackhawks game, you will notice that it draws a classy crowd. One of the most common sightings happens to be the old rich man/hot younger woman combo. Be it “” or some hard work in the Viagra Triangle, this combination is very specific when sighted at Blackhawks games.

These beautiful woman strut down the United Center corridors like fine Romanian imports clad in skin tight leather and lace. They have perfect breast implants and china doll nose jobs, piles of beautiful hair right from the scalp of an Indonesian orphan, and the bling you can see shining from 100 feet away. These, my friends, are the Hawkstitutes.

Big Hawkstitute

Often property of their “Rich Old Dude of the Moment”, it is as if these women are dressed for a hunt of their own. Loud and proud hockey fans they claim to be, but really … we all know they are hoping Patrick Sharp will abruptly halt on the ice, look up in the Sky Box and get a glimpse of that fox fur covered perfection and seek her out immediately. Better yet, one of the male Blackhawks interns (who are usually very taken with these creatures) will select her for the “shoot the puck” competition or to ride the Zamboni – a sure way to win Hossa’s heart!

In worst case scenario, she will network with other rich old men and get a seat upgrade for the next game. Tis the beauty of being a Hawkstitute.

And for a price, YOU can be one too!


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